Layers of Happiness

A new month reflection

Happy New Month!

July is here! I’m amazed by how quickly this year is flying by.

At the start of every month, I make it a habit to say "Happy New Month" to my loved ones. It’s my way of ushering in the blessings I hope will find us. It recently dawned on me that happiness is something I’m always striving for and I know I’m not alone in that quest. But I have a confession…I haven’t been as happy as I thought I was.

The Layers We Wear

We all have layers.

Mine? The outer one is characterised by joy and light. Most people who meet me are welcomed by a cheerful energy. But after doing some inner work, I realised that my happiness is often laced with sadness.I once said that the character Sadness from Inside Out was my favourite. I’m now wondering, was it the sadness I related to, or was it the vulnerability that I admired?

The Questions I’m Sitting With

This reflection has opened up a set of questions that I’m still untangling:

What truly makes me happy?
Why does it make me happy?
Is it my happiness or am I mirroring someone else’s joy?
When do I feel most at peace and what does that moment actually look like?

Happiness feels like fuel to my soul. It allows me to embrace who I am and accept things as they are.But the lack of it? It can feel devastating, crippling even. Is it possible to learn how to manage what affects our happiness so we can remain balanced?

Side Thoughts: Future Grief and Present Worries

Why do we grieve experiences we haven’t had yet, in the name of future anxiety?

Will I get that dream job? What is a dream job anyway? Is it the purpose? A sense of community? Just a means of survival? Or the feeling that I’m doing something that matters?

Earlier this year, I was stressed about my last semester of university. Will I finish my thesis well? Would I land a job in time to support myself? The state of the world is overwhelming, and here I am, standing at the edge of it, ready to dive in. It felt like a tug-of-war between my fear of the unknown and the “what-ifs” I invented in my head.

And Yet… Here I Am

Now, in July, I sit here in the summer sun asking myself: What was all that stressing for? I always do my best. Things are slowly unfolding for the better. Thesis done and passed! I know that life has its ups and downs and I’m learning to embrace the unknown. I'm looking forward to whatever opportunities lie ahead, because maybe, just maybe, it’s okay not to have all the answers.

Love,

A